truthful scientology infomercial from legionnaire 148 on Vimeo.

I’ve been enjoying my shipment of Paxil from Marcab, so I’ve been away. However, check out a neat thing about this old but recently leaked photo of Hubbard aboard the Apollo:

From January, after the Tom Cruise video came out but before the protests began.

Before the Phoenix lander left its home planet of Teegeeack to land on Martian tundra, NASA launched a different program: Visions of Mars.

Visions of Mars is a message from our world to future human inhabitants of Mars. It launched on its way to the Red Planet on August 4, 2007 aboard the spacecraft Phoenix. Along with personal messages from leading space visionaries of our time, Visions of Mars includes a priceless collection of Mars literature, and art, and a list of hundreds of thousands of names of space enthusiasts from around the world. The entire collection was encoded on an archival silica-glass mini-DVD provided by The Planetary Society, designed to last hundreds — if not thousands — of years.

“So what?” you might ask. Well, it seems our favourite intergalatic despot after 75 million years decided to use his one legally-permitted phonecall to drop a line to NASA and have his name included on this DVD.

Who knows what Xenu (or someone acting on his behalf) wrote.  It could be the story of a wife-beating, child-abusing drunk.  It could be a description of a very tiny dwarf.  It could even be Xenu’s own story.

Whatever it is, when its recovered, it’ll be related to what will then be a long-forgotten cult.

Scientology has had a push to up their stats since the Anonymous uprising began. It seems the “fastest growing religion” on Earth today, with all their “8 million” members, could only muster selling 2,257 copies of Dianetics worldwide. The breakdown:

24-May-2008 11:12 PACIFIC STANDARD TIME
INTERNATIONAL TOTAL: 2,257
BRIDGE PUBLICATIONS TOTAL: 748
NEW ERA PUBLICATIONS TOTAL: 1,509

Leading the sales was the European Union with 672 sales; the UK had 235; the Western US had 170; the Eastern US had 104. Rock bottom was Canada at 18 sales nationwide, in a country of 33 million people.

The following orgs sold ZERO copies, with the ones that sting the most in bold: (more…)

I think I love Marina Hyde.

Earlier this year, it was discovered that police were handing out in schools leaflets that push the church’s anti-drug programme - the not at all sinisterly named Narconon. Oh, and City of London Chief Superintendent Ken Stewart appeared in a promotional video for the church itself. When pressed, a police spokesman said Ch Supt Stewart had to “build links” with the “diverse” community he policed, and that meant meeting community leaders.

Sweet suffering Xenu! Please not the old “community leaders” flannel … It often keeps me awake that I have got to this stage in my life without knowing who my community leader is. Do you know yours? It feels so much worse than not being able to name one’s MP….

The police do not need to “build links” with the Scientology community, which - despite most recent estimates valuing the British arm of its operation at £57m - had just 1,781 adherents at the last census (with the majority based near the church’s East Grinstead HQ). What links are the police forging with the Jedi community? Because that’s the fourth biggest religion in the land, according to the same census. Frankly, City of London police should spend a little more time reaching out to Luke Skywalker fans, and a little less reaching for the collar of free-speaking children.

Digg here.

The best part is he did it with his MySpace account. Via Glosslip, here is Jason Lee’s complete message, presented here as he first presented it to the world:

Rev J.. I cant believe im doing this. You dont like me, but you send your foot soldiers to be a FRIEND of mine on my Myspace… That promotes me.. Thank You for that.. Your video was a joke. You said absolutely nothing about scientology, all you did was call me a d-bag, and make fun of some furry animal that you probably sleep with every night. Your a joke.. you have a radio show, get over yourself. Im worth MILLIONS. Clothing company, proffesional skateboarder, movie star, television star… the list gos on.. You have more friends than me on myspace.. ive been on here for probably 4 months.. All you do is talk shit bud.. Please do not send anything to my myspace! That is for my FANS.. real fans. NOT for your foot soldiers to come in there and preach about your beliefs. I dont do it to you, so dont do it to me. I want to take this time to tell you that I will never come on your radio nor talk to you personally.. I have much more busy schedule then you could dream about. I do not have time to make YouTube videos, and gripe at people. I get on here once a month if im lucky to talk to some of my loyal fans if im lucky. Get a life dude, and stop messin with mine. If you continue to do this I might be forced to go legal. Last, everyone who is friends with this guy, and wants to comment on my page about this guy, and is also my friend on here needs to leave! Thank you.

Look at these “degraded beings” as LRH would call them mocking his perfect music!